Have you ever
caught yourself feeling as though you are at the mercy of your circumstances no
matter how big or small? This is how my Monday morning began. I was EXHAUSTED!!
My brain was feeling sluggish and disconnected from the rest of my body, my
energy level was almost non-existent, and by 8am I was ready for Tuesday! Sound
familiar?
So, let me share
why I was so exhausted. My daughters had woken me up at 3:33 in the morning and
I did not go back to sleep until 5:56am (yes, I know this for a fact because I
kept looking at the clock!!!). When I heard the soft twinkling of bells 4
minutes later from my alarm I hit the snooze button and then again at 6:30, and
by 7 o’clock I knew I had to get up and start my day. Boy was I a hot mess for
sure!! My eyes were puffy, my voice was scratchy, I hadn’t taken a shower, and
I threw on a wrinkly pair of shorts and a t-shirt…So. Not. Sexy! My family was
lucky I decided to use my fine motor skills and put on my bra! You get the
idea?!
The girls and I
trudged through our morning routine with me bringing to everyone’s attention that
I was tired. I already had it in my mind that all I needed to do today was “get
through” my day and then tomorrow I will be on my game!
After I dropped my
girls off at camp I parked my hot mama minivan at the shopping center across
the street and began an inquiry into how I had already designed my day to be
something I was going to “survive” rather than live! It was at 9am that I saw
this was a wonderful opportunity for me to practice squashing my reasons and
take actions that were align with what I was commit to having in my life.
Look, I knew I
could call any of my girlfriends that have kids, my parents, my husband…pretty
much every one in my life would have agreed with me that I had reasons to be
tired and that I should “take it easy” and perhaps I should take today to
relax. Having those conversations would have completely justified my current
way of being, but that’s NOT the way I wanted to LIVE my life.
Instead, I took a
few moments to let my body be heard. I allowed my feelings of exhaustion to exist
without judgment and then all the muscles in my body started to relax. I
acknowledge that I was tired AND that I had many things I wanted to accomplish
today. Then I asked myself, “Who do I want to be while I am crossing off the
things on my “to-do” list?” “What kind of day do I want to have?”
It was at this
moment I chose to bring aliveness to everything I did while having fun, being
sexy, and doing it all with ease and grace!! For me this way of being was my
access to designing my day the way I
wanted rather than being at the mercy of my circumstance and reasons! As I drove
all over Baltimore
When I got home I
began working on my “Accomplishment List.” This is a practice I use when I
sense I am not giving myself enough credit for all that I do. It’s a list I
keep for myself and usually throw out or delete at the end of each day. I begin
by writing down every thing I do in the morning. For example: making beds, helping
the girls make breakfast, packing lunches, unloading the dishwasher, reading
books to the girls, watering the tomato plants, wiping down the kitchen counters,
putting gas in my car, making/going to appointments etc. You get the idea…no
task is too small for this list. It all deserves to be seen! Plus it feels
freaking amazing!!!!
While I was making
this list on my phone I took a moment to be with the shift that had occurred.
By now it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I no longer felt exhausted or that
I was moving through each activity in survival mode. I was totally energized!!
I had squashed my reasons to “take it easy” and now I was making new a commitment
to get to the gym by 3pm for 45 minutes of cardio before I picked up my girls
from camp! I knew that I had flipped my own switch and living my day completely
out of a powerful space that I created.
You might be
thinking, “What about all those people you usually talk to on the phone, what
did you say to them?” Well, that afternoon I called and texted my family and
friends to share with them what I noticed about my shift in who I was being. I
think expressing what I saw about my day, how it could have gone AND how I chose
for it to go is powerful. When I share myself with others it alters the
listening of those around me and creates a new opening for them to be with me. It
is out of this new space of listening that they too will squash my reasons and
justifications by holding me accountable for what I say I am out to have in my
life and who I want to be for those around me!
