Switching to a manual lifestyle:

First, I must share with you that I have never driven a car with a manual transmission in my life. Okay, go ahead and gasp! I don’t care what type of sexy car was put in front of me…I wasn’t going to even try. I mean think about it, in order to be successful I would need to know how to shift gears based on the car’s speed and if I messed up shifting gears then the car would stall in who knows where. I knew driving an automatic car gave me the ability to focus on where I was going and not think about how I was getting there.

Okay, so my reluctance had nothing to do with learning how to drive a car with a stick shift. What I was really so afraid of was screwing up and worrying about what others might be thinking about me if I failed. I didn’t even want to practice shifting “gears” and more importantly I didn’t want the responsibility of true control in my life.

I became present to this memory after sharing my story about my miscarriage. When I gave my story to others I began to follow a path of inquiry into the notion that we as human beings have fallen into a trap of perhaps unconsciously living through our automatic responses.

Before creating my blog I sent an email to a girlfriend and her response brought me to this new inquiry. Here’s how the beginning of our phone conversation went:

Me: “Hey girl! How are you?” (in an upbeat tone)

My friend: I’m good, I read your email (pause)…I want to cry for you, but I don’t think you need me to.”

BOOM! In that exact moment we connected through the experience I had with my miscarriage and her choice of words were so interesting…she wanted to cry for me, but didn’t think she NEEDED to…and she was RIGHT! By the time she had read my email I had already gone through my feelings of sadness and in doing so I was able to see the amazing opportunities for connection with others. Why cry for me?

However, it got me thinking these questions:

• How do I react when I am confronted with experiences I am unsure of how to handle?
• Who am I being in these day to day moments?

 There are so many automatic responses we give because they are considered the “right” or “appropriate” reactions and ways of being in an effort to “connect” with others, but is that true?

Look for yourself…is there a place in your life that you find your reactions come automatically rather than giving yourself a moment to take a breath, switch gears and keep with the true flow of your life?

What might you find when you choose to take on the practice of a “manual” lifestyle in which your actions are motivated by your own self inquiry into how you reach your goals and discovering who are you being in those moments?

If we took ourselves out of the automatic way of living and started inquiring into what ways of being actually coincided with what we were dealing with…then perhaps the connections we get from others would be closer to the truth of how we felt and what we needed. What gifts might you discover for yourself?