Getting out of the way

Last Friday was “Grandfriend’s Day” at my daughters’ school. It’s a special time in the year when the children can share part of their morning with their grandparents or other special adults in their lives. So when Friday morning came Sloan and Liv were bursting with excitement! I mean you could feel the energy buzzing around them as they got out of bed!!

As our morning began I attempted to “slyly” coax them into wearing clothes that were not only clean (bonus here), but weather appropriate. Okay truthfully, I asked both girls, “What would you like to wear?” and obviously I wasn’t really asking them because I found their choices were less than favorable.

So, I continued trying to convince my almost 6 year old daughter, Sloan to wear an outfit I thought would be cute…I mean who wouldn’t want to wear a cute pair of pink pants and matching heart covered shirt? Right?! Can’t you just see the adorable photo opportunities in this outfit? I could, I think I was blinded by it actually.

After I laid Sloan’s outfit out on her bed, I turned around to see her eyeballing me with her arms crossed against her chest and I could feel we were about to get into it over an OUTFIT! Yes, an outfit! While I kept looking at her I could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she was tightly pursing her lips together, and I just knew we needed an energy shift and quick!

She might have thought I was nuts, but I said to her, “Hold on a second, will you?” and I walked out of her bedroom and into the hallway. I stood there for a brief moment to take a breath and then I said to myself, “What am I doing? Get out of her way!” Okay, I really used more colorful language, but you get my point. I had such a moment of clarity to see how I was getting in her way of being self-expressed and I was not giving her the freedom to dress herself or immerse herself in the joy she felt about her special day! Yea, I got it loud and clear…I am so grateful for this moment.

I then walked back into her room and shared with her what I just saw for myself. It was as if a weight had been lifted. Her shoulders relaxed and she had her big, beautiful smile back. We didn’t need to talk any further since she was racing around her room selecting a super fancy dress, a pretend pearl necklace, and gigantic pearl chandelier clip-on earrings. This was my Sloan in action and her energy was contagious.

Even though this time between Sloan and I was only a tiny fraction of our day, it made all the difference in the world. Sloan’s gift to me that morning was to bring me back to who I want to be for my children, which is someone that gives them the guidance and space they need while each of them discovers who they want to be for themselves.