What do you think?

“Don’t say that!”

“Are you sure you know what you’re talking about?”

“Just let someone else handle it, you’re already doing too much!”

“I don’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Just let them think they’re right, but you know better…way better!”

“They don’t really need to hear what I have to say.”

“It’s not that important.”

Do you ever notice yourself keeping out of a conversation or situation because the tiny voice that runs like a river through your thoughts keeps you from doing so? So, that list above is me flushing out some of the things I’ve noticed I tell myself while I am out in the world “living” my life.

So here is what has shown up…this little voice is what keeps me safe. It keeps me looking good, in the right, feeling superior to others, and playing a really small game in life. Recently, someone requested that I take a look at where I discount myself and what it is costing me. Grrrrreeat!

At first I was totally resistant to the idea of this inquiry…no thanks! However, the seed was planted and I began to move through the next few days noticing how my automatic response in my head kept mouth shut in different areas in my life. It was a lot folks. I was glued to the thoughts that kept me safe and now I was in the midst of the inquiry “How do I own that I matter?” Here is a great example from last night:

On Wednesday evening in Baltimore, we had a powerful special evening about the Landmark Forum and I had two guests with me, my dad and my friend/past co-worker from my teaching days. I felt energized and totally connected to every one there. When we had an opportunity to introduce our guests in front of the room I was the first to raise my hand. I was on fire and totally unstoppable!

No way was I letting my internal dialogue sink its teeth into my aliveness baby!

A few minutes later people began to share at the front of the room what they had gotten out of their participation in this work and I wanted to contribute!

It was when someone shared about the profound and beautiful difference this work had on their marriage that I thought to myself, “Well, they don’t need to hear about ANOTHER transformed marriage. I’ll be redundant.” It was as if the flood gates had opened and in that moment I kept my hand in my lap. The truth is I was marinating in those two sentences for about 5 minutes (a long 5 minutes) until I realized what I was doing was keeping myself out of the game, out of the conversation, and definitely disconnected from contributing to others.

The beauty in noticing how I discounted myself and my contribution was that then I could make a choice. I could stay in my chair with my hands in my lap and there was nothing wrong with that OR I could raise my hand and stay true to what moves my heart and soul…to be and experience true aliveness!

So, I raised my hand and though I was not picked to share what I got was so much more! What I got was a new ability to notice when my internal state starts to be clouded by thoughts to keep me safe. It is in these moments of awareness that I then have the ability to choose powerfully who I want to be in that moment.